Day 419 - A Kate Spade girl?

In the spring of 2010, I applied to Kate Spade as a design and marketing student. I was looking for a summer internship, hoping for something in fashion advertising. The brand had just repositioned itself, reinvigorated, and I was finding myself a huge fan of its designs. I wanted to be a part of the zeitgeist.

My application was a letter, inviting the design director to look at my portfolio and describing myself quite proudly as a ‘Kate Spade girl’. The note first listed items in pairs, likes and passions of mine, to back up this claim. “Jacques Demy films + macarons / dachshunds + corgis / avocados + bellinis / theme parties + wanderlust” etc.

In addition to this application, I wrote in to the Kate Spade “behind the scenes” blog (then titled Things We Love…) with the link to a web series I had been following called The Girls with Glasses show, and stressing again my request for an internship.

The following season, though I received no response and no acknowledgment of my application, Kate Spade began selling an item called the “odds and ends” tote featuring a list of items ‘from a to z’ that the collapsible tote could carry (on view here and here). Some items belonged to my list, most items did not, so I wrote off the item as merely a coincidence, until The Girls with Glasses released their next episode furnished tip to tail by none other than Kate Spade, starting a series of partnerships between the two.

Many creatives, writers mostly, cry foul about this sort of thing often. Pitching freelance articles to magazines or spec scripts to studios and production companies can often lead to the leeching of ideas in an unpaid capacity both on purpose and accidental. It is difficult to prove, and often pointless to fight, and I decided not to bother pursuing the matter in any official way. My mind rested in the fact that the ideas were probably just proof that my line of thinking was along the lines of an internal Kate Spade marketer. I intended to keep applying to relevant positions, keep attempting to gain a spot within the company.

I don’t know if I will continue to do so now.

Last spring, I created a custom portfolio site for Kate Spade, and applied through their system to a Junior Web Design position, which I was well-suited for. For one component of the site I created a mixtape and wrote verbatim, “Kate Spade used to release playlists to stream on their site (something I sorely miss) and I’d love to see them return. On the left, a few of my sonic suggestions for the Kate Spade staff.”

This spring, Kate Spade has created a Pandora radio station as a component of their integrated spring campaign.

The coincidence, or non-coincidence, is now personally glaring. I have applied multiple times and had ideas either as good as internal ideas without any follow through, or potentially leeched. I have never interviewed, been contacted, freelanced, or worked for the Kate Spade organization; and despite being a bit of a brand loyalist and brand ambassador (pardon the Marketing 101 term), I don’t know if I can even purchase another item from the brand.

I am feeling disillusioned with the company, but mostly I am upset that my hard work and applications have been cheapened and potentially abused.

Your ideas are your intellectual property, and if you work (or aspire to work) in a creative industry they are the backbone to your worth. Be diligent in your records and be able to prove your ideas were mimicked. I certainly learned my lesson, just a shame it had to happen thrice.

ETA: I realize I don’t have a monopoly on lists or links to web shows or mixtapes, but I have sent all three as proposals to an organization that went on to utilize them after each application; and if this is all a big coincidence… if no one at Kate Spade has ever seen my work or my letters or any of it, then I apologize for the mess but I hope my side is understood and consider my words eaten.

Day 380 - Since I’ve returned

It’s been a few short weeks since I got back to New York, and already I feel a huge change in my hustle.

The thing people don’t get about New York is that it’s probably the hardest place to work and the best place to live. There are a million places looking to hire you but they’re all middle of the pack and for someone like me, someone trying to consciously do good work and not mis-step in my career, it’s a really intimidating place to be.

I’ve only applied to a handful of positions since I returned, one of which is Kanye West’s new design firm DONDA. It’s a bit of a lark, yes, but I respect the idea that it might exist and I do feel like a pretty solid candidate in both skill and mentality. This year has kind of proven to me that long shots should be taken.

Tomorrow I have an interview at a small digital agency where a friend of mine works. I have mixed feelings about the firm—I once freelanced at a media company very similar to this and didn’t like the pandering tone to their work—but I’m looking forward to getting back in the saddle, dressing up, putting on a shocking color of lipstick and heading out there with my book. I’m nervous, but I hope I’ll learn things I didn’t know before and maybe I’ll get an offer. Certainly would be nice.

If I’m going to really sharpen my knives and dig in here in Gotham, I’m definitely going to allow myself some slack. San Francisco reminded me how great it feels to have a decent and steady paycheck, so I’m more open to contract work knowing that it’s temporary. Isn’t everything temporary on a long enough scale anyway? I feel refreshed when I hop from place to place, I should enjoy it.

Anyway, big day tomorrow (early day, ugh) but I wanted to clear my head a little bit while I wait for a few new pieces for my book to render.

Day 355 - Give up thinking you’re not ready

Earlier this year, I got forwarded this list: “50 Items You Need To Give Up Today.” It was March and I was unemployed for a few months, starting to freelance and looking for work. It seemed kismet to find something I found so profound but I’ve spent the last few years trying my hardest to live free of anxiety and depression and a lot of items on the list stood out to me at that time in my life. Particularly #11:

Give up thinking you’re not ready. — Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

When I got the offer to come out to San Francisco, I was buzzing and optimistic. I was ready for a change and trying to be ready to meet it. I was giving up thinking I was not ready. But when the work began and I started to settle in, in a lot of ways I wasn’t ready. I am not a formally trained designer. The most tutelage I’ve had on the subject is a short class here or there and my education has some bald patches. Normally I don’t feel inadequate but I’ve written over and over about how this experience has plunged me into a bullpen with accomplished and talented designers who I’ve naturally compared myself to. After a few weeks I began working harder to keep up with my skills, and accepting more challenges to push myself. I have gotten better. I have learned a lot.

Ultimately I was too aware that I didn’t follow the track that normally lands you a spot here. I have never presented my book to more than a handful of recruiters, I have never put on a gallery show of my work. I simply did not have that experience. Some of my co-workers were fresh out of ad schools, or had abandoned junior or associate positions at other agencies, giving up $50-60K, in favor of this agency’s name on their resumes. The awareness of this added to the intimidation and I found myself struggling pretty heavily here.

But a few weeks ago I just gave it up. I gave up comparing my life to anyone else’s. I gave up comparing my decisions to anyone else’s. I gave up thinking my skills were homespun or threadbare and I began using my assets, namely my ideas and my work ethic. My design was adequate enough to get me out here, but I really got noticed for my ability to solve a problem and to solve it efficiently. The more I emphasized that in my day-to-day work the more comfortable I became; and in my last few weeks it’s felt incredible to actually have my work praised in execution, idea, and turn around. For the first time since I’ve been here I’m beginning to feel as though I’m proud of my work instead of apologizing for it.

In a lot of ways my individuality has felt squashed, if not by the environment then repressed by my own want to fit in, but sticking out is the only thing that feels natural.

This is my last work week in San Francisco; I fly back to New York in a few days. A few weeks ago I was wondering if this was a waste, or just an experience that taught me in negatives: “at least now I know what I don’t want/like” “at least now I know what I’m not looking for” but I don’t think that’s the case anymore. This has been a humbling experience but I know what I have to push for and I have a better idea of how to push for it.

I wrote about how I felt, closing in on one year of post-grad, that I felt like I was barely past square one but my outlook is brighter now. I’ve got a few months of experience under my belt and a much deeper drive.

I’ve given up thinking I’m not ready, just in time to jump back in.

Day 343 - Tell me (a little) about yourself

I am fucking rusty, man.

Had my first interview since Portland a few days ago and I’ve been mulling over the process since. I don’t think it went poorly, but I pretty much never do. I do feel like I was more myself than I normally am, but that was partially due to the fever I was running the day of (can’t really reschedule because of that). It helped me loosen up and be a little freer/more honest than I might have been otherwise but that’s a good thing, right?

At least I was finally prepped for the one stock question that trips me up (“so tell me about yourself”) but it never came up. Funny how that happens.

Now I’m waiting to hear back on a follow up for next week and I’ll decide if I’ll keep pursuing other avenues.

All I know is I need to put some TLC into my book, and my branding, and my site, and my nerves, and start at square 1.5—not quite 1, but not far from it either. Just in time for me to come up on one year of post-grad.

Ugh boring post is boring, I’m sorry. I’ll try harder next time. Rusty, guys, I’m just rusty.

Day 336 - Hello again

It’s been awhile, and for that I apologize. Everytime I decided to sit down and write for this blog the thoughts of meaninglessness and drivel were stifling. You didn’t want to read that shit. I didn’t want to write it.

It was a lot of whining about San Francisco or feeling homesick. Unnecessary bitching, basically. I’m in a much better state now.

One of the fun things to mention is that officially on December 16th (eerily my last date of classes last year) will be my last day of work here in San Francisco. I’ll officially be unemployed again and this blog will return to its former glory of positivity/negativity, anecdotes and advice! Likely this is why you read the blog in the first place! So, yes, greener pastures ahead content-wise.

In the meantime I’m still working on a degreed music mix, a tidy wrap up of what it’s been like here in San Francisco, and a little update about a few changes in luck and disposition I’ve had.

But for now I just wanted to say hello again, and I’ll be joining the unemployed masses again soon. I bet you can’t wait.

Thanks for sticking with me.